I recently had my heart opened and awakened by someone that I met and at first it felt magical, exhilarating, amazing and perfect; and then ever so slowly over the course of the next day I began to let doubt creep in because of fearful over-thinking. I began to think about what it meant, where it might lead and basically begin to apply meaning to everything. I began to fear that excitement I was feeling wouldn’t be reciprocated and that my heart would close back up and that it wouldn’t beawakened again for quite some time.After driving myself nuts for 24 hours thinking about this person and trying to figure out how to proceed and control the situation, I went for a hike to try and clear my head and find some peace of mind. Nature has that calming effect on me. About a half hour in to my hike, high above the downtown skyline of Los Angeles,my mind began to settle and I realized that I was given a huge gift. I was given the gift of having my heart opened in a very special way. A way that I have desired and been working toward.And because we all know that it doesn’t happen every day, I also realized that if I wanted it to stay open in this unique way, I needed to find a very special kind of trust. A trust in myself, a trust in the process and a trust in knowing that I can live from this place without allowing fear and control to take over.
A relationship can’t grow or be formed with a controlling or fearful heart. It just does the opposite of what we truly desire. The only way to truly blossom into anything is to keep the heart open. Yes, it leaves us feeling vulnerable…but it also allows us to fully feel and access the gold. Going forward I honor my new found realization and accept that I must step into the unknown. My responsibility is to keep my heart open, be authentic and shine light on it all. The end result will be what it is supposed to be. With honesty, communication and no hidden agendas, everything will all come together as it should or should not. Trying to control a situation will only lead to one result…the loss of a potentially great situation.
There is absolute truth to the quote, “if you love someone, set them free.” It doesn’t mean that they are going anywhere, but it does allow them to breath, it allows them to fully engage and see everything as it really is and it allows them to be their true open-hearted authentic self as well.
So I move forward trying to keep my busy mind at bay knowing that the only way to keep my heart open and flourish into the full measure of love it is meant to bask in, is to relax into the situation and allow it to unfold while I let go of control. Above all else I want to give thanks for having my heart re-awakened. That is where Source/God flows and where I want to live.
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